Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Mmm... the past few nights I've enjoyed coming home from work and watching the sunset from my balcony. The sky is so beautiful... not to mention that I can see the ocean and all of Catalina Island from up there. Don't be jealous. That's a sin.

So I'm buying my roomate's car. That's cool. I might be singing at Ponderosa Pines again this summer, which is even cooler. And I start my new job at the pottery place Friday! And tonight for dinner I think I'm going to make cheese tortellini soup... I love simplicity. And Leroy's roomates.

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Damien Rice - O

Words... are so powerful, aren't they? Words that describe things, words that injure... lies, or painful truths... or compliments... it amazes me how things we say so strongly and visibly affect those around us...

I'm reading a good book. Well, not that the book is anything special; it's good, but it in and of itself is not changing me. But do you ever have those moments, when you're reading... and you finally get something? I had that today... I know it's long, but I have to share it with you because it changed me...

"In the Christian community thankfulness is just what it is anywhere else in the Christian life. Only he who gives thanks for little things receives the big things. We prevent God from giving us the great spiritual gifts He has in store for us, because we do not give thanks for daily gifts. We think we dare not be satisfied with the small measure of spiritual knowledge, experience, and love that has been given to us, and that we must constantly be looking forward eagerly for the highest good. Then we deplore the fact that we lack the deep certainty, the strong faith, and the rich experience that God has given to others, and we consider this lament to be pious. We pray for the big things and forget to give thanks for the ordinary, small (and yet really not small) gifts. How can God entrust great things to one who will not thankfully receive from Him the little things? If we do not give thanks daily for the Christian fellowship in which we have been placed, even where there is no great experience, no discoverable riches, but much weakness, small faith, and difficulty; if on the contrary, we only keep complaining to God that everything is so paltry and petty, so far from what we expected, then we hinder God from letting our fellowship grow according to the measure and riches which are there for us all in Jesus Christ."

And my thoughts... on scrap paper... in Starbucks... "How can one small paragraph change my entire outlook on life? It's a concept that I acknowleged some time back, but I think it's just now making sense. When I long for more, when I wish that things were better, in actuality I'm wasting what I have now... I'm spitting on it. I'm saying it's not good enough for me - that I deserve more, or better. And it's not true. Nothing can be better than what has come from the hand of my Father. Nothing. The 'now' that I have is a gift.

"And I know it all breaks down - one can become complacent, too content if you will... and that can destroy just as easily... are we all looking for that balance?

"Oh, the realization that I'm the cause of my own pain! And I can't help but to wonder if all this was because of my stupidity... or was is a necessary leg of my journey?"

Thoughts?

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Thanks for the reading tips... I got impatient and went out last night and bought 2 books: Life Together: The Classic Exploration of Faith in Community by Bonhoeffer and one called Enjoying God by I don't know who... good stuff so far. Here's some morsels:

"A Christian comes to others only through Jesus Christ. Among men there is strife. 'He is our peace,' says Paul of Jesus Christ (Eph.2:14). Without Christ there is discord between God and man and between man and man (or woman and woman)."

"It is true, of course, that what is an unspeakable gift of God for the lonely individual is easily disregarded and trodden under foot by those who have the gift every day. It is easily forgotten that the fellowship of Christian brethren is a gift of grace, a gift of the Kingdom of God that any day may be taken from us, that the time that still separates us from utter loneliness may be brief indeed. Therefore, let him who until now has had the privilege of living a common Christian life with other Christians praise God's grace from the bottom of his heart. Let him thank God on his knees and declare: It is grace, nothing but grace, that we are allowed to live in comunity with Christian brethren."

Apparently, very few of my friends are literate, so don't worry you two - I will be taking your suggestions as well!

I found out that I start at the pottery place the 21st... that is, if I pass the drug test. How long does it take for stuff to get worked out of my system?? I found out that my manager at the coffee shop, my good friend Scott, is quitting and moving to Palm Springs to get a "grown-up job". But, that does mean his position will be open next month, and I'm the only one in the wings!! Horray for a raise.

Hmm... not much else happenin'... still waiting for that free car, God! Love you guys...

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Pinback

Crazy times... change is dang good people! I'm here at my house... listening to the always-growing drama... and I just want to scream "Let it go!!" The church, and it's various ministries, are living organisms that need room to change and grow. But there also comes a time when things die. And that's okay. Let it die. Mourn the loss, but move on.

Sorry if that didn't make any sense, but that's what has surrounded me this afternoon.

Do you ever stay in bed extra long just because you love your dream? I did that this morning... and I'll just fill you in on the highlights (Cara, if you know what these mean, go ahead and take a stab!): ballroom dancing all over my front yard with a man I have only admired from afar and never spoken to, and it was wonderful... my grandpa Boehm, sitting at our table, laughing and talking and telling jokes better than he ever did when I knew him... gushing with my mom about this mystery man who had waltzed into our lives and my family's hearts... watching my grandma Boehm be just as spunky as Ev, my crazy other grandma (that's a sight)...

Ahh... good times, that sleeping thing is... I don't have to work today or Thursday. I think I might try to find a good book - any suggestions? Love to you all...

Saturday, January 08, 2005

Jem - Finally Woken

I worked tonight for the first time. Funness.

Does anyone have a car laying around?? Cuz I need one. You can mail it to me if you'd like. Oh - and could you have it to me by Sunday or Monday at the latest? That's when I'll start my second job. Thanks.

Everything here is flooding. And I can't feel my toes.

Sorry for the randomness... I'm tired and cold and done.

Thursday, January 06, 2005

Shaun Groves - Invitation to Eavesdrop

On this journey home
I will walk Your road
I will not turn 'round
For another

Make my pathway straight
Into heaven's gates
I will not turn 'round
For another

Lord, it's Your renown
Your eternal fame
That I live for now
It's Your name
It's Your name
For Your name

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Chris Tomlin - Arriving

Wow. I have few words... but I'm in Nashville, preparing to fly out tonight back to California. I went to Passion 05 here... and it was the most amazing experience. Ever. God did amazing things and made his presence known in some amazing ways.

I'll be processing for awhile...