Paula, you're renewed by trying new things:

Setting off on an adventurous trip, finding a new hobby, or even introducing yourself to the new neighbors — these are the things that help put that spring back in your step. You're more curious than many, and it's the pursuit of new places, sights, sounds, and experiences that revitalizes both you and your perspective on life.

Because of this, things can start to drag when you get trapped in a routine. Exploring — whether in your own back yard or beyond — keeps you feeling fresh. And why shouldn't it? There's always a new city to discover, a new restaurant to try, or a new friend to make, and they all add to the experience you call life. Of course, there might also be times when you're tempted by some of life's more passive pleasures (watching movies, sleeping late). But ultimately, your true replenishment comes from getting involved and plugging into your keen interest in the world around you.
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Hmm... no wonder I don't feel very "refreshed" as of late... I suppose I'm tired of trying new things by myself. Because I think part of the joy of exploring is getting to share what you've found with others.

I was supposed to hang out with a girl last night, and I was so excited because I haven't done anything social for oh... probably 2 or 3 weeks... and yeah, I got stood up. What the heck. I called her, and she was out with friends and said she'd call later, and she didn't. I got really mad. Not at her - things like that happen, I understand - but just mad at the situation... that it happened again. And that again I was left to figure out what to do with my evening. I went to see "Hitch." That was fun... the dance scene at the end made me laugh so much... I'd watch it again just for that.

I led worship tonight at The Journey with Ryan and Jesse. It was SO wonderful to see all those kids. They bring me some happiness.. and they invited me to a show in LA tommorow. So yay. Anyway, we sang a song called "Fountain" (I think...) and it goes like this:

All who are weak, all who are weary... Come to the Rock, come to the Fountain... All who have sailed on the rivers of heartache... Come to the sea, come on be set free... If you lead me, Lord, I'll follow... where you lead me, Lord, I will go... come and heal me, Lord - I'll follow... where you lead me Lord I will go... I will go

And I had to stop singing because I was crying too hard. How embarassing. But I just kept thinking, "That's me! That's where I am now - I feel like I am on those rivers of heartache right now..." And as hard as it was, I wanted to sing with all my heart and tell God that I will follow him wherever he leads me... I felt it, but like I said, I couldn't sing it. Overall a good reminder that anything other than trusting God through all this crap... well, would not only be detrimental to my wellness, but it'd be a waste of time, it'd hurt me and Him... it just wouldn't make sense... so logically I know I need to trust, but at times it's so, so hard.'

Anyway... you've read enough words already... so I'll stop. I love you.